In the Arms of God

I remember when I met my cousin Amy. It was Christmas night at our house in 1981 when my Aunt Sue set a tiny bundle of pink down in the crib that was awaiting my new brother or sister (which turned out to be Jeff!). We usually saw our Minnesota family at Christmas and occasional times in between… so many family memories. The last time I saw Amy was at our dear Uncle Art’s funeral a couple years ago but I received a message from her on facebook less than two weeks before her death. She was looking forward to hopefully coming to Indiana for a visit sometime and excited about meeting Ella. That was not to be.

On April 29th Amy was murdered by her boyfriend when he went on a shooting spree and killed two other people and injured yet another before taking his own life. It’s the kind of thing that you never in a million years imagine could happen to someone in your family. Loss is certainly not unfamiliar to us… my oldest cousin Kathy died of a rare pneumonia at 25 years old… my dad was killed in a semi accident caused by an impaired driver at 50… among other losses. That night as I watched online coverage with my mom and my brother Andy we talked about how it didn’t seem right to see the word “homicide” about someone in our family. Who does that to someone on purpose? It’s not supposed to be that way. There were more questions than ever before. Yet, we did what we’ve done before and gathered together from various places in the Midwest to be with our family and trust in the God who gave Amy to us. We’ll never know the answers but I think my Uncle Phil, Amy’s dad, said it best when he said that we need to just “let God be God” and leave it to Him.

Amy’s death certainly had an impact on my life and caused me to re-evaluate some things. It reminded me once again that we are not guaranteed tomorrow and to not take things for granted. In a way, just as my dad’s death did for me, it took a little more of the fear out of life and made those leaps of faith all the more important. God knows our days and He will take care of the rest. In a news story in the city where Amy died my cousins Nate and Kyle, spoke out about what they wanted others to know… If you or someone is in a relationship that is not healthy, do what you can to get them out of it. I also learned that the media’s side of the story can be twisted and you don’t know the whole story unless you’re living in it. When I see news stories of women like Amy who are murdered, it’s more real to me. They have lives and stories like Amy’s… they’re more than just faces. They have families who love them and will grieve them for a lifetime… families like mine.

I tried several times to write something here about Amy after her death, and as you can see, besides my Mother’s Day post days after we came home from the funeral, I haven’t written anything since then. I just couldn’t find the words. Thankfully, Amy had already found them… At her memorial service my cousin Nate, her brother, read from a devotional that she had marked from today’s date, September 24th. It also happens to be her birthday. It was from Max Lucado’s “Grace for the Moment.”

In the Arms of God

We don’t like to say good-bye to those we love. Whether it be at school or at a cemetery, separation is tough. It is right for us to weep, but there is no need for us to despair. They had pain here. They have no pain there. They struggled here. They have no struggles there. You and I might wonder why God took them home. But they don’t. They understand. They are, at this very moment, at peace in the presence of God…

When it is cold on earth, we take comfort in knowing that our loved ones are in the warm arms of God. And when Christ comes, we will hold them, too.

Happy Birthday, Amy.