Mother's Day

Today was my second Mother’s Day. This was the first special occasion that I shared with Ella last year, at that time just home with her for 19 days. I certainly felt like a mom but was still pinching myself that this little Chinese girl that I’d waited for for years was following me around the house and calling me “Mama.” The difference in this Mother’s Day compared to last year is that Ella knows that I’m HER mom.

I’m thankful for my mom who has not only done so much for me throughout my life but has become an important part of Ella’s life too. Being a mom is everything that I thought it would be and more… being a single mom is harder than I thought it would be. My mom has been remarried for just 5 years and owns her own business. This is a time in her life where she should be able to do the things that she wants to do, yet she sacrifices time to care for my daughter while I work and help with other things. I never have to worry about Ella when I work because I know she is very well cared for, and Ella loves her like crazy. Thank you, Mom, and Happy Mother’s Day! I love you!

Mother’s Day isn’t celebrated in China but I can’t help but think of two other women who are an important part of Ella’s life. I’ve often thought about her foster mom who cared for Ella Qin Qin for over two years of her life, still longer than what she’s been with me. I wonder about the crucifix that was placed on my little girl’s neck, possibly by this woman, and the sweet bedtime ritual of singing with her little arms out while she knelt to pray for a while after she was home… she was following an example. Ella calls me “Mai” which is very close to part of her foster mom’s name, “Mei.” My mom and I have talked about how sad it must’ve been to let her go after all that time and how much quieter it must’ve been in that home once she was gone. I’m thankful for the way that Ella’s foster mom cared for her until I was finally able to bring her home.

A few of my friends have had babies lately and so I’ve been wondering more often about what Ella looked like as a baby. I think of her first mom, her birthmother, and how she cared for her for about a month before making a difficult decision. I’m sad that we live in a broken world where a woman would feel pressure to leave her child because of gender or physical difference… or any reason. I pray that she may have peace in her heart… that she may know that her baby girl is safe and happy and so very loved.

Legacy of An Adopted Child

Once there were two women

Who never knew each other.

One you do not remember,

The other you call mother.

Two different lives

Shaped to make yours one,

One became your guiding star,

The other became your sun.

The first gave you life,

And the second taught you to live it.
And the first gave you a need for love,

And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality.

The other gave you a name.

One gave you the seeds of talent,

The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions,

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile,

The other dried your tears.

One gave you up,

It was all that she could do.

The other prayed for a child,

And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,

The age old question through the years.

Heredity or environment, Which are you a product of?

Neither, my Darling, Neither,

Just two different kinds of love.

Author Unknown